Another day in Limbo

The last blog post I wrote was almost half a year ago, how time flies when you’re at village drinking tea and living as a subsistence level farmer.  As I recall the sentiments of that most recent blog post regarded another day in limbo.  It is interesting that although so much time has passed and I’ve gained so many more experiences; whether touching, anxious, absurd, enjoyable, depressing, than I possibly have in my lifetime leading up to this, the sentiments I feel now are the same as that last blog post.  Whereas in that post my limbo was geographic and temporal, not being able to get back to site, this current limbo I find myself in is more… psychological?  No that’s not the right word, it makes me seem a bit crazy.  Emotional?  That’s closer to the mark I suppose, but doesn’t capture the whole picture.  The fact of the matter is that whereas before I was physically unable to get back to site, at this point in time, I don’t feel like I am ready to go back.  A little bit of context is necessary, so I guess I’ll fill you in.  I’m not talking about all the details from my last blog post to this one.  I am sorry that it has taken this long, and I hope in due time to write more blog posts relating to the past few months (I have about 20 ideas, I just need to write them).  For this post, it would be best to go about 3 weeks ago.

It started about three weeks ago when we were trying to pick a replacement for Tommy Zoppa as work-zone coordinator in the Kedougou-Bandafassi workzone (affectionately named the “man zone” because it used to be 10 guys, but since Anna installed it is 9 guys and 1 girl… thanks for ruining the ratio Anna [just kidding]).  Basically in Peace Corps Senegal we are broken up geographically into work zones to facilitate cross sectoral synergy and all that jazz,  the coordinators are supposed to help facilitate this collaboration.  It really boiled down to two candidates: me and Anna.  We had a really awesome idea of choosing who would be selected.   Originally I had suggested a JRR Tolkien trivia-off (I have actually apparently been challenged by John Kelly recently to a trivia-off, but that’s neither here nor there).  This plan was amended though to a good ol’ fashioned LARP.  For those of you who don’t know, LARP stands for Live Action Role Play.  Basically we were going to dress up as hobbits and the rest of the workzone would dress up as nazgul.  The challenge would be to get from the gate of the regional house to the well in the back (dubbed mount doom [or amon amarth for all you Tolkien fans]).

Cast it in the fire!!! Er.. water?

 There were going to be side quests too like having to go to Jubal’s hut and endure an hour of his terrible puns, the reward being him following you around as your traveling minstrel. 

the puns are so bad!

In case Peace Corps staff (Hi Chris Hedrick!) are reading this, that is not actually how it all panned out (unfortunately).  We never had our LARP (yet!) and instead voted and decided that since I’d be the sole health volunteer in the workzone after the current health stage COSes, it would be best for me to be a co-coordinator to bring a health perspective to things.  Much more logical and professional, if less fun.  The fact remained though, I would have to go up to Thies a few days early in order to attend the work zone coordinator training.  This meant that I had quite a bit on my slate for February.  First work zone coordinator meeting, then the all volunteer conference, then WAIST (I’ll get into what WAIST is soon).  All in all, it would be a little over 2 weeks in Thies and Dakar.  2 weeks with fellow Americans, speaking English, a social scene, seeing old friends and meeting new ones.   What a daunting thought!

 

Seriously though aaron, what's that facial expression?

For the sake of brevity I thought that I would just free-flow thought the highlights of work zone training and all-vol.  It was truly great seeing my friends from all around the country again.  I found them more mature, responsible, and worldly than I had last seen them.  Would it be an overstep to say that with this experience, I could detect a sense of jadedness?  It is a sore subject for peace corps volunteers, but I find that it is a slippery slope from maturity and worldliness to jadedness.  It’s something we have to combat every day, and I am assured that my friends are winning the fight.

jade is such a beautiful gem to be used to describe bitterness and lack of caring

We got to go to Palais-des-Artes once, which is always a pleasure.  It’s basically a dance club really close to the training center in Thies.  Oddly, it doesn’t really get bumping until about 2am.  We got there at around 11 and used our own ipod to play some American music and had a good dance party.  Lot’s of fun, I showed everyone up with my running man [citation needed].   Of course, there were many a good night just hanging out at the bar.  I mention these things to highlight the social aspect of my time in Thies.  It is easy to fall back into old mindsets of comfort and hanging out with friends.  This is a part contributing to the limbo I am currently in.

The work zone coordinator training and all volunteer conference weren’t just us hanging out the whole time.  They were full days of training wherein I learned much about what it means to be a workzone coordinator and how I can contribute to the overall goals of Peace Corps Senegal, and the Peace Corps at large.  Furthermore, all-volunteer conference was an amazing experience.  Presenters from all over the country talked about the projects they had done and gave advise on how to implement them in our own sites.  I learned about malaria, gold mining, mango grafting, solar drying of fruits, rice propagation, cashew marketing, water retention and earthworks, etc.  I even got to go on a fieldtrip to a farmer’s field where they had implemented berms, stop dams, and other modes of water control.  It was a great experience.  As the only health volunteer there, it was like having a panel of agriculture volunteers just to answer my questions and give advice.  The whole event was truly inspiring and gave me energy and imagination to tackle problems in my own village.

And then there was WAIST.  If you have seen my facebook profile lately, you’re bound to have seen me dressed up in a full suit, probably doing ridiculous things (and looking good doing it!). 

This picture basically summarizes my WAIST

 Although there needs be no reason to look this drop-dead amazing, this specific occasion was because of WAIST.  WAIST stands for West Africa Invitational(?) Softball Tournament.  You might be asking yourself, why softball?

  

Why not?

  So basically it’s an event for expats in Dakar: embassy people, NGOs, and of course, Peace Corps.  The Peace Corps contingent has a history of being a bit… rowdy, so we play in our own league.  We are split up on teams by region, and each team comes dressed in a costume.  It’s like a softball costume party where no one really cares about winning softball, but having a good time, maybe drinking a little bit, and looking ridiculous in costumes.  This year team Kedougou decided to dress up as Team Zissou.  Don’t understand the reference?  Well neither did I (or like over half of the other people there).  Apparently it’s from the Wes Anderson movie “The Life Aquatic”.  So in the movie they all dress up in light blue jump suits with red beanies. 

something like that

 I decided to lend my own flair, and after watching the movie I noticed that the opening scene started at a formal movie screening where they were all in full suits with their characteristic red hats.  That sounds like fun, right?  Playing softball in a full suit, bow tie and all?  Well the answer is “Heck Yes!”  Sure, it was a bit difficult to run around catching softballs and batting in a full suit, but I still had a great time.

There were other events surrounding the softball like a masquerade thrown by the marines at the embassy, a bar trivia night and bowling night.  Though there were a few hiccups, I had an overall enjoyable time.

Which brings me to where I am now.  I’ve spent over 2 weeks surrounded by good friends, being social, speaking English, and having an just hanging out.  I’m just in a state of mind where I’m not ready to go back to village.  I mean, village is great, and I love it there.  I truly do.  But I’ve just been in this mindset of living fast and social, it is truly daunting to try to go back to village life which is markedly slow and difficult to get across complex emotions or personality in general due to language barriers.  So here I am, sitting at the Bedik Campement, looking over the diminishing Gambia River, wondering.  It won’t be until the 4^th of July before I see most of these people again.  Did I leave off on a bad foot?  Were there things that I’d left unsaid?  I won’t have a chance to be in a similar situation for another 5 months.  The Peace Corps is a weird social environment.  We are stranded in our villages for months at a time, and then all of a sudden we’re all back together again for a short time span of maybe a week, and you need to fit months of social interaction into that span of time.  And if there are things you regretted doing, or not doing, you only have months of doing nothing to look forward to.  Of course, you have your village to talk to, and your work to keep you occupied.  But even with all of this, there is still so much time.  Time to think, and god forbid, even to brood.